Sunday, July 31, 2005


Well, I made the Portland to L.A. drive one last time and am back home. I start school on the 18th, and my schedule before then is pretty up in the air. I have jury doody tomorrow and will be going to Boston at some point, but I would like to see people as much as possible before classes start. My contact info is all the same. See some of you soon.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The Halcyon Days of Crossfire

I had heard that Tucker Carlson's new show was bad, but wow. My favorite part is that incredibly awkward look-to-the-side. That's gold, Tucker! Gold!

(Via Crooks and Liars)

Thursday, July 21, 2005


ch'é'étiin = 'doorway'

(lit., 'something has a path horizontally out')

chidí naa'na'í bee'eldǫǫhtsoh bikáá' dah naaznilígíí = 'army tank'

(lit., 'a car that they sit up on top of that crawls around with a big thing with which an explosion is made').

Saturday, July 16, 2005


I have Merlin Mann to thank for directing me toward this ordered Wikipedia list of every major motion picture with more than one-hundred utterances of the word "fuck," or any variation thereof. As both a list-nerd and a movie-nerd, this is a kind of spiritual experience for me. Some surprises, too: I never would have guessed that Pulp Fiction was more foul-mouthed than American History X, for example.

Films ordered by total number of uses

1. Nil by Mouth (470) (128 minutes: 3.67 fucks/min)
2. Casino (422)
3. Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (347)
4. Another Day in Paradise (327)
5. Summer of Sam (326)
6. Twin Town (320)
7. Ken Loach's Sweet Sixteen (313)
8. Narc (298)
9. The Big Lebowski (281)
10. Tigerland (276)
11. (tie) Fubar / Made (274)
12. Pulp Fiction (271)
13. Reservoir Dogs (252)
14. Dead Presidents (247)
15. (tie) Goodfellas / The Boondock Saints (246)
16. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (228)
17. True Romance (225)
18. Empire (220)
19. Scarface (1983 version) (218)
20. Suicide Kings (207)
21. American History X (205)
22. 8 Mile (200)
23. Magnolia (190)
24. Belly (186)
25. (tie) Donnie Brasco / Shaft (2000 version) (165)
26. Paid In Full (153)
27. Snatch (153)
28. Bad Santa (147)
29. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (146)
30. Glengarry Glen Ross (139)
31. The Blair Witch Project (133)
32. Midnight Run (132)
33. Jackie Brown (131)
34. Good Will Hunting (129)
35. (tie) Cabin Fever / Raging Bull (128)
36. Gigli (123)
37. Phone Booth (122)
38. (tie) Chasing Amy / Training Day (121)
39. Dogma (120)
40. Sexy Beast (117)
41. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (114)
42. The Last Boy Scout (102)


Friday, July 15, 2005


Do you have any idea how fast computers could be today if they didn't have spend a billion percent of their processor time refreshing random crap on the screen? Honestly, does Aqua need to have cute rounding shadows on the marquee? Aside from the obsession with style, Tiger seems pretty neat. I like the dashboard, in fact. How are you?

Me Stab Mitch Kupchak

The Lakers are deep in talks to trade Caron Butler and Chucky Atkins to Washington, in exchange for forward/center Kwame Brown.

Now don't get me wrong: Butler and Atkins are hardly franchise saviors. Our payroll is being choked by an unmanageable glut of small forwards as it is--Butler is one of the more expendable among them--and while the loss of Atkins would leave us staking our entire 1-spot on Tierre Brown, I have to imagine we'd make a move to sign an established B-list point guard later this summer. Plus Kobe always brings the ball up the court and controls the offense anyway. Okay, fine. The only real reason to object to Atkins's and Butler's departure is a philosophical one, i.e., that it's symptomatic of the neverending money-fueled season-to-season player rotation in the league, where no single player can be expected to stick around for more than a year or two and actually cultivate a fan base.

That having been said, this particular trade happens to be a steaming pile of bad news, because Kwame Brown is a nightmare wrapped in a joke. He's the biggest washout among #1 draft picks in the NBA going back ten years. He's lazy, truculent, irresponsible and verging on talentless. He's absolutely the last kind of player the Lakers need, size notwithstanding, and it pains me to see them making a move for him.

Consider this list of professional abominations provided by the Los Angeles Times, which, I should point out, appears in the context of a news article, not an Op-Ed. That is to say, they're not consciously building a case against him, they're simply narrating some of the highlights of his "career." To wit:

"In 2001, Brown became the first high school player taken with the top pick in the draft, but he has been erratic and enigmatic throughout his first four seasons.

Last season, he was suspended before Game 5 of the Wizards' first-round series against the Chicago Bulls and missed seven playoff games because he had groused as his playing time decreased, claiming a stomach illness and missing a practice.

Brown was also suspended for a game last December because he reportedly walked away from the huddle during a timeout as Wizard Coach Eddie Jordan questioned his failure on a defensive assignment.

In his first two seasons, Brown clashed with aging guard Michael Jordan and former Wizard coach Doug Collins.

Brown showed traces of improvement in his third season, averaging a career-best 10.9 points and 7.4 rebounds, but he broke his right foot during a pickup game last summer and started the 2004-05 season on the injured list.

Brown was out of shape most of last season, playing only 42 games and averaging seven points and 4.9 rebounds. He was booed at home numerous times.

Off the court, Brown has been troubled, getting arrested in 2002 for driving 120 mph and again in 2003 for driving under the influence."

So this is our big offseason acquisition. A chronically unhealthy, misdirected criminal who defies his coaches; a post-player whose career double-doubles can be counted on one hand; a guy who only a few years ago, at the age of 18, graduated from high school and six weeks later got paid $3.7 million to play basketball with Michael Jordan, and decided to spend the year arguing with him.

Good move, Mitch! Way to play 'em!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Spy report

I think it's really important for everyone to read the wikipedia page on Scientology, 'cause oh my fucking... It's so clearly a prank! What's wrong with these people?

Monday, July 11, 2005

Did you guys ever notice that the Bangles song Manic Monday is IDENTICAL to 1999 by Prince? Turns out it's because Manic Monday was written by Prince. Go figure.

Sunday, July 10, 2005


You'll be interested to know, that a USA Today technology writer has finally produced the most inane transition sentence ever:

Almost as diverse as the electromagnetic spectrum itself, directed-energy weapons span a wide range of incarnations.

Carry on.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Lost Days is the new Gus Van Sant movie. It's modeled on the life and death of Kurt Cobain.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Pop music voices

For the most part, I can only spy on popular culture, but I thought this article was slightly interesting. Maybe y'all have something more interesting to say on the matter.