Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Alan Keyes

Alan Keyes must be--and bar-none, including P. Diddy, Cash Money Mob/Mafia (whatever), and all the other strapping black fuckers who make a point of showing off the refrigerator contents and the bedroom where "the magic happens," "the shit goes down," etc--the single most ridiculous, pathetic creature I am actually aware of. My opinion may turn tomorrow, but I wouldn't count on it. This is a putz who is somehow physically capable of claiming, on national broadcasts, that race had nothing to do with the Republican party selecting him to run against Obama. What kind of crazy-monkey-talk is that? Even Hastert had trouble keeping a straight face when asked about this, claiming something like "he wasn't actually there" when the decision was made. Remarkably, Keyes also claimed that he was chosen because of the unique set of skills that he brings to the challenge, which included the ability to take the race issue off the table--but that has nothing to do with being black. (I refer the reader to my published views of Objectivistic crazy-monkey-talk.) Subsequently, Keyes first salvo against Obama took the form of "likening [Obama's] pro-choice stand on abortion to a 'slaveholder's position.'" Whaaa? I have all sorts of sick images of crayola "flesh" colored ass-invading dildos running around in my head.

Okay, I'm just vituperating for the sake of it. I like "crazy-monkey-talk" though.

5 Comments:

Blogger Tyson said...

Yeah, Alan Keyes is pretty much USDA-certified grade A douchebag. Denying that race was a factor is totally ridiculous. C'mon, the guy actually lives in Maryland - what, the Illinois GOP was just like strolling around scenic Baltimore, when suddenly everyone had this collective epiphany: "I know, let's run an out-of-state nutbag for Senate! It's a slam dunk!" And also (I don't know how well-publicized this is outside of Illinois), the other person they were considering was - surprise, surprise - a black woman. Something like 5 (or 3?) black senators in U.S. history, and now the Republicans just happen to find two potential candidates? Uh-huh. My own theory (which is probably a pretty common idea, actually) is that the GOP knows it's going to get clobbered by what looks like the pretty unstoppable Barack Obama; running the doomed-but-extremely-public Keyes is just a way to reach out at the national level for the black conservative vote in November.

Also, I heard Audition was some scary shit. Have you seen Kiyoshi Kurosawa's Cure? I had the bright idea of watching this at midnight, alone, in my cold, dark apartment. This turned out to be not a bright idea.

7:09 PM  
Blogger Cameron said...

What is this black conservative vote of which you speak? I can think of only a few such people: C. Rice, C. Powell, C. Thomas, A. Keyes, M. Morris... I'm out.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Tyson said...

Don't forgot Ward Connerly and Larry Elder! Longer comment to follow, once I get back from Madison.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Tyson said...

Okay, here's what I was going for (*warning* another long-winded post is on the horizon):

I think I probably misspoke when I said "black conservative vote." The black vote obviously (and unsurprisingly) tends to be Democratic - I think it was something in the neighborhood of 80/20 Democrat/Republican in 2000, though I'm not sure. However overwhelmingly Democratic, that's not a monolithic bloc - the 20% would comprise a small, but in a close race significant, sector of black voters. But that's not really what I was talking about - I'd imagine that that would be a pretty dedicated group of voters, who could be counted on to vote (ugh) Republican again in 2004. My understanding is that the GOP feels it can now enlarge this black conservative vote, tapping voters who would traditionally vote Democratic, but are now seen as on-the-fence; this newer group of potentially conservative voters is largely drawn from the more affluent sections of black society and from socially conservative churches (I think I read this somewhere, but unfortunately I don't remember where): or, pretty much the groups Keyes himself targets. And while he is probably a bit more fanatical than GOP leadership would prefer, running such a nationally public like Keyes allows the Republicans another way to campaign for those potentially conservative votes for the Presidential election. And since this election looks to be a close one, even small voter blocs are important - Democracy in Action!

It's pretty much thunderingly obviously that Barack Obama is going to win the Illinois seat, unless it turns out he's actually the Zodiac Killer or something. Such is the rationale I see behind running such a visible figure like Alan Keyes in what promises to be a failed attempt at the Senate.

I, obviously, am no expert on demographics or black politics or political science and the like, so the above might be really glaringly wrong. It's what I was trying to say, however. Hope that clears things up.

10:50 PM  
Blogger Cameron said...

Your analysis seems as sound as any speculation could be. The only thing I wonder about is the following: in general, black people are not very politically aware; so, unless the said 20% is exceptional in this way (or their pastors are particularly nutty--as a whole there are very few black people who are secular in the vein of "liberal" America, though this religiosity has not bent folks to conservative politics in the past), I'm not sure that running someone for senator in a distant state is likely to make a great dent. Dunno

5:12 PM  

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