Thursday, June 15, 2006


Last night I bought a stainless steel mixing bowl from Bed Bath & Beyond, intending to use it in a makeshift double-boiler so I could whisk up some lemon curd. The manufacturer had placed a sticker on the bottom—the inside bottom, that is, where the food goes—describing the item's various selling points. Now, I just assumed that this sticker, placed inside the bowl, where the food goes, with such alacrity, would naturally turn out to be one of those fancy static-cling stickers you see nowadays, which stand up to even the most vigorous jostling, but come off smoothly when picked at. A sticker placed inside the bowl would have to come off smoothly, because INSIDE THE BOWL IS WHERE THE FOOD GOES. Needless to say, I was wrong, and God is a monster. It was a severely old-fashioned sticker, made of paper and affixed with glue, which came off in about twenty jagged micro-strips and left a patch of sticky, impermeable scuzz, not unlike the kind you see on the case of a CD that has been sold and resold, on THE INSIDE BOTTOM OF MY NEW STAINLESS STEEL MIXING BOWL WHERE THE FOOD GOES. I don't know where these evil bowlsmiths acquired this miracle glue, but my guess would be the Army Corps of Engineers; it's not water-soluble, it's not alcohol-soluble, it has stood up to no less than a direct attack with a boiling solution of both followed immediately by crazed, frenzied scrubbing with the most abrasive scouring pads that I possess, emerging totally unscathed. I'm likely to damage the stainless steel parts of the bowl before the glue parts. You heard it here first: I've decided to dedicate my life to consumer advocacy. Or at least to returning this fucking bowl.


Blogger Greg said...

You need this:

Goo Gone

10:59 AM  
Blogger Will said...

Yeah, I thought about stealing some Goo Gone from work, but then I stumbled upon an equally powerful and more readily available cleanser: gasoline.

1:59 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home